Mazatlan, Mexico

Where? About 800 miles south of Albuquerque, NM 

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Mazatlan has a lot of memories for Good Ole Grilldog.  Grilldog has been traveling there since July of 1990.  It’s the lure of the sea and big game fishing.  Grilldog’s love Fish.  Therefore, every few years, Good Ole Grilldog set’s his sights once again on this Golden Zone of Fun. 

 What is there about Mazatlan?

 If you are lucky to get one of the few planes to fly into Mazatlan, you’ll notice right away that from the air, you most likely will not see the airstrip.  In fact even after you touch down you are going to swear you’re landing in a cow pasture.  In fact, even after you de-plane down the stairs onto the runway, you’re going to swear you landed in a cow pasture.  However, looking around you’ll notice that you are in a small modern airport, so your concerns should be washed away by the rich warming rays of the Mazatlan Sun.

 You’ll next travel about ½ hour into town.  Don’t be too concern that the trip there looks pretty 3^rd world (at least the slaughter house isn’t there anymore).  You’ll see a couple shanty towns, the Federal Pen and other non-tourist attractions.  Then soon, looming up ahead will be huge resorts, lots of food and drink and a beautiful sandy beach.

 Traveling to Mazatlan.

There’s a number of airlines that fly from the US to Mazatlan, maybe two.  We flew on U.S. Air and made our plans through Travelocity.  I’m not recommending either one, just mentioning it really.  U.S. Air was pretty pathetic and old, considering most of their seats still had cigarette ashtrays in them.  Now how long ago was smoking banned?  During the two hour flight form Phoenix we were only ALLOWED one drink.  We were told this was due to the paperwork we had to fill out before landing in Mexico.  The paper work amounts to about 3 minutes worth of effort, ok, maybe 10 if you had too much to drink.  However, with only one drink, you’re not going to notice.

 Of special note, we were able to book transportation from the airport directly to our hotel.  Trust me, that’s the way to go.  It was about the same expense as hiring one of the local panhandlers there who’d be glad to take your money for the ½ drive into town.  The gal meets you at the departing gate with your name on a sign (how cool) and you drive in a nice air-conditioned van all the way to your hotel.  They will also let you know what time they are going to pick you up and take you back to the plane at the end of your stay.  Trust me, getting around Mazatlan is easy and you don’t need a rent a car (but more on that later). 

 About Mazatlan

You have to first understand that Mazatlan is really 3 cities in one.  There’s Old Mazatlan, The Golden Zone and New Mazatlan. 

 Old Mazatlan was built on the fishing industry, there’s a Pacifico Brewery there and it’s where the Cruise Ships dock.  Typically, this section of town is the only section that the cruiser line people ever see.  Just note that the Cruise ships charge for a lot of sight seeing in the city that you can get cheaper in the city at a travel agency, for example, cruiser tours charge for the Brewery Tour which is really a Free Tour.

 The Golden Zone is where all the Large Time Sharing Hotels and Resorts are.  In the past 15 years they have grown into a large and centralized tourists vacation spot.  Everything you’d expect from a resort is there, including time sharing sharks that want to take you to breakfast just to listen to their speal.  If you don’t speak Spanish very well and have trouble getting around in foreign countries, stay in the Golden Zone.  Grilldog has stayed at several of the El Cid Resorts, Inn at Mazatlan and owns time Sharing with Emerald Bay (Which is another story further down). 

 New Mazatlan is of course the new section.  Mazatlan’s tourist industry has so proliferated in the past few years; the resorts started building more resorts and even a new cannel and dock north of the Golden Zone.  Most of these resorts have shuttles that take you back and forth between the Golden Zone and their location.  I’d check first to make sure this is true.  El Cid and Emerald Bay will run you back and forth between their hotels in the Golden Zone and their Marina Hotel.

 How to get around.

No need to get a rental car there.  The easiest way to travel around Mazatlan is pick up a Pulmonia.  These are souped up golf carts with a Volkswagen engine in them that scurries up and down the trip.  For about 5 American dollars you can travel from one end of town to the next and get dropped off where you want to go (in most cases).  Unfortunately, don’t trust these guys, always make the deal before you get in the car and always have direct change, if they don’t drop you off where you don’t want to go, put of a scene and don’t pay them!  They’ll walk away, drop their price or take you where you want to go.  If they say where you want to go is closed, they are lying.  They all speak really good English (probably better then good ole Grilldog) but it’s an act to scam money out of you. 

 Trust Good Ole Grilldog, even with my experience I get high-jacked once in awhile.  However, there’s always a watering hole someplace to cheer myself up at.

 Where to stay.

There are certainly plenty of modern resorts there.  Most all are time sharing and you can book with RCI or one of the other sharks out there that are trying to rip off your hard earned money. 

 I’ve stayed at the Inn at Mazatlan, several of the El Cid Resorts and most recently, La Fiesta Hotel in Old Town Mazatlan. Here is the view from our balcony:

 If you are looking for the cheapest route to go, then it’s for you. Otherwise, I’d settle for one of the resorts.  Because of the hot sun, you definitely want to take advantage of one of the pools at the resorts.  I like the ones with a bar in the pool so you can wade on out to it, order a drink, and if you have too much and fall down, the worse that’s going to happen to you is you get wet.  Since you are wet already, who cares.  The La Fiesta Hotel sits on top of the Shrimp Bucket, just another Carlos Anderson establishment (they own, Senior Frogs, and a few other restaurants whose motto appears to be, heavy intoxication and over priced menus.  I guess if you are over intoxicated you don’t care what the price is.

 Where to eat.

Sheik – This place is located next to Constantino’s, a head-banging disco.  The Sheik is a very upscale establishment and you are going to drop 20 American dollars for a meal.  But it’s worth it if you are tired of tacos.  We had their Ceasar Salad and it was made right at our table the way it should be and tasted great.  The only problem I had with the Sheik is that I got locked in the John!  Yeppers, I accidentally pulled the lock off of the stall door and it took me a good 10 minutes to get it back on!

 George’s Taco – My friends all tease Good Ole Grilldog that I have favorite places all over the world that are named George.  For instance, Generous Georges Positive Pizza and Pasta in Virginia (Washington D.C. Area), Captain Georges in Virginia Beach, Sir Georges in London, etc., and so on.  However, I’m not going to be adding Mazatlan to the list anytime soon.  George’s Tacos was hyped on the internet and by the locals as the place to be.  We got there about 15 minutes before they opened and they were just rude to us.  Well, there’s a hindleg salute to that George!

 Gringo Lingo – a distinguished chain-smoking American stands out front hawking this all-you-can eat deal and ½ price drinks.  He lies.  First, even though the deal sounds good, the food is sub-par.  The drinks are not really ½ price, they are ½ price from his regular menu, however, when you consider the regular menu prices are 3 times higher then anyone else’s for the same drink, you are still paying over and above a regular price for each one.  Considering the quality of the place I’d have to give this establishment a 1 paw salute, I’d give it a hind leg salute but I’m afraid it’d appear on the menu the next day as a special.  The most notable thing about the Gringo Lingo is that on the men’s door is a picture of  Mel Gibson from Braveheart and on the Womens the is a poster of Sharon Stone.

 Shrimp Bucket – over priced and under fare.  Don’t go

 Senior Frogs – I typically like Senior Frogs.  It’s a fun place, lively atmosphere.  However, to be fair, the food there is over priced and they seem to have a penchant for getting everyone drunk on cheap tequila.

 Jungle Juice - If I had to pick one place to hang out in Mazatlan it has to be the Jungle Juice.  I first discovered the JJ in June of 1990 when I first went to Mazatlan.  The place has changed since then, my favorite parrot isn’t there anymore. JJ had many parrots that talked at one point.  My favorite always said Jorge, Abearrto la puerta (or some spelling like that).  This means that one, I can’t spell Spanish very well and loosely translated, George, Open the Door.  Well, I got a kick from that (you know, the frequent reference to George through out my TV show and my website).  So I thought it was talking to me!  They have some good tequila there!  I also was friends with the owner at the time George! He was the center for the Mexican Basketball team back in 1990.  They have a great variety of fruit smooties that’ll sure and refresh the most weary traveler.  Since Grilldog’s love to deep sea fish, when ever I get a catch, I bring it over to the Jungle Juice and they cook it up for me.  This time I caught a Skip Jack Tuna and they cut it up into steaks, grilled it on charcoal and covered it with a roasted garlic and butter sauce!  YUM… So JJ gets my four paws and a tail salute for Food, Fun and Friends in Mazatlan.

 Things to do.

Fishing – Of Course, Fishing.  Grilldog’s are great when it comes to deep sea fishing, well, fishing for anything really. Good Ole Grilldog use to fish in the lakes of South Jersey, trout, bass, catfish, Pike, etc.  Some day, Grilldog dreams of going back to Alaska and fish for Salmon, nothing like a fresh caught Salmon, trust me a Fresh caught King Salmon is nothing like you get here in the lower 48 (figure it out).  Mazatlan is still relatively inexpensive when it comes to renting a boat and crew for a day and setting sail about 20 – 30 miles out for Big Game.  The worlds’ largest Tuna (1,000 pounds) was caught off shore.  I’ve caught Dorados, Tunas, Sharks and a 9 foot 101 lb Sailfish there.  So needless to say, it’s the place to go.  Unfortunately, for those not in the know, you’ll be lead to the new Marina where costs can be pretty hefty and the trip to the fishing zone about an hour to a half hour longer then from Old Mazatlan.  Grilldog always goes to Old Town.  You can get a box lunch from any hotel and the crew will bring water and ice.  You can bring your own beer for the ice too! It costs about $225.00 to rent a boat with a captain and 1 mate.  They’ll do all the work, you get 5 lines and they try their best to hook some thing for you to reel in.   Unfortunately, the fish weren’t biting on this trip and I caught about a suicidal 5 pound skip jack tuna that I pretty much dragged through the water on my 100lb line.  I’m sure he left a little fishy good by note at his local school… “Dear fellow fishies, I can no longer take living here in the waters where unfiltered garbage is constantly being dumped into my home.  Therefore, I am going to jump on Grilldog’s hook so I can appear in his website and on his TV Show. At least I’ll go down in history, maybe I’ll be lucky and Grilldog will see fit to BBQ me (sorry) Grille me and eat me!”  Sorry Charlie!”

 Although the crew seems to always want a tip, if you catch something and are not going to keep it yourself, trust me, they are going to sell it for a huge profit in town.  Don’t believe for a minute that they “donate” it to the local orphanage or prison.

 Take plenty of sunscreen and a hat, try to stay in the shade. Make sure when you are negotiating with the boat people you make sure you know how long you are going to be staying out for.  Typically, you should be in the water from 6:30ish to 3:30ish.

 For this trip I hooked up with the Bibi Fleet. I’ve been with the Star Fleet and Bill Hemples.  I liked the Bibi Fleet.  They certainly were customer service oriented and the captain of my boat was really friendly and could really handle the craft and I felt that I’d go back there again.

 The Red Dragon - now this isn’t really a tourist place and Grilldog has never been there.  However, every town has a “red” spot and if you are anywhere near this establishment you are probably in the wrong part of town, unless you are looking for that type of adult entertainment.

 Stone island – All the tours and hotels will have a stone island trip. I’d shop around and make sure you get the best deal. For the most part they are all the same.  You go to the old town section of town (unless you are staying at the El Cid or Emerald Bay in New Mazatlan), you hop a two story boat and circle down to the Golden Zone to see the Sea lions, then head over to Stone Island which is really just across the inlet from where you started at.

 You can purchase a couple of activities there.  They have horse back riding, kayaking, banana boat rides, coco loco coconuts, as well as a bunch of hawkers trying to get you to purchase over priced pieces of crap.  The activities are 10 bucks each and we went on the horseback riding trip that lasted 8 minutes.  Talk about horseshit.  Because we listened to a time sharing deal, we got the trip for free and only paid 10 bucks for an extra activity.  So we weren’t too disappointed.  However, I’d be weary of the prices.  The food wasn’t as good as the buffet at the Deer Island trip and the booze was certainly a worse deal.  Oh, the food and drink were included in the price.  They had one, sometimes two bartenders handling about 100 thirst crazed tourist attempting to consume as much watered down liquor as they can.  Was I the only one noticing the bugs swimming around in the rum bottle?  At least good ole Grilldog was finally able to see some iguanas while there and paid some locals $2 to get a picture.  

 Horse back riding – There’s a number of horseback riding activities around Mazatlan.  The Stone Island ride is actually pretty good in the off season when there isn’t as many tourists, when it’s peak time, you are lucky to get 10 minutes.  Also, these horses are a bunch of old retired workhorses.  Don’t expect Seabiscut!

 Coco loco – Coco Loco is the name of a local coconut drink. They take a young coconut that not exactly at it’s peak, trim the top off and stick a straw in it so you can drink the juice.  However, don’t throw the coconut away, they’ll scoop the meat out for you too.  However, you’ll have to ask, they will try and get away with the most minimum of effort they can.  I put some rum in my coco loco and it made it much better.  However, do it yourself, if you ask them to do it, they toss out a lot of the good coconut juice to put the rum in… Get an empty glass and pour some coco milk out in that and then go and just ask for a shot of rum, or two or three… LOL

 Deer Island

There’s several Deer Island trips that take off from different locations.  There’s one that takes off from El Cid in the Golden Zone, that’s an amphibious vehicle.  The ride is pretty neat but I don’t think includes any activities.

 We went with the one that we booked on line through our Travelocity package.  We called and confirmed like we were supposed to.  Unfortunately, because we were in Old Town the pick up van wouldn’t pick us up so we had to find our own way there.  There’s plenty of Pulmonia’s around so we got a ride, it costs about 8 bucks to get to the El Cid Marina where our Catamaran was going to sail from.  Unfortunately, the folks at the dock had no record of us and wanted us to pay again for the trip.  Now there’s a lot of Mexicans down there that try to rip off tourists and I was not about to be ripped off.  So I raised a fuss.  The Harbor Master had his secretary call our booking agent to verify that we were supposed to be on his craft. Just because we had a print off with the name of the dock and the boat wasn’t good enough.  He said he had never even heard of the agent.  Lucky for us, about 15 minutes before boarding, they were able to verify us so that we could set sail.

 Unfortunately, there was engine problems and it took us about 2 hours to make the 45 minute trip to an island that’s a 20 minutes ride from the Marina.  Why so long.  Well, they had to go past the island so we could see seal rock where the seals were sun bathing (yawn).  They had a decent buffet and the price include all our drinks and they had bottle beer and were pouring the liquor pretty strong.  You could signup and pay for additional activities such as kayaking and banana boat rides.  There was a pretty decent volleyball net strung so many of us played a few games of volleyball until the call of the sun and beer distracted us.  However, Grilldog must give a partial hindleg salutes since the toilets were deplorable.  They barely flushed and if you did anything but urinate, your samples were left for everyone to experience.  Not quite the experience you’d be looking for just before you eat.  This was true for both the toilets on the cat as well as on the island.

 Tequila factory – For those interested there is a tequila factory tour.  Evidently, it’s a little village where they make leather goods, raise cocks for cock fighting and they grow the Blue Agave plants there for tequila.  We didn’t get a chance to take that tour <sigh>

 Brewery tour – The cruise lines will gladly charge you a bundle to sign up for the Pacifico, Tacate, Coronia Brewery tour, which is actually free.  Just call the place up and schedule yourself a free tour.  We didn’t make this tour either, maybe some day.

 Constantino’s -  Constantino’s is the big disco on the strip. Now don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a 70’s disco.  If you like loud head banging music, heavy on the base and light on merit then this is for you! It’s built like a castle out on the cliff so that as far as ambiance, this place is it.  However, do they really have to play the music that loud?

 Time Sharing/Emerald Bay

You just never know.  Back in July of 1980, I first set foot in Mazatlan.  Ahh, I remember the ride, the shanty towns, the smell of the slaughter house, the smell of the federal prison, the dust, the dirt, yes, what a ride from the Airport.  I can’t say it was my first annoying experience with the sharks (otherwise known as Time Sharing Sales People); however, it was the most memorable.  Oh, I had been to a few shows in the states.  Back when I was going for my Master’s Degree and working full time, I didn’t have money for nice presents during the holidays. Therefore, I’d attend these time-sharing shows so that I could get the free prizes.  However, I never, ever, would buy the time sharing deals.  They just weren’t a deal!  Who takes that many vacations, plus there were all of these costly fees and I caught them in numerous lies.  So here is what happened back in July of 1990.

 First we knew that as an American, we could not actually own property in Mexico for life.  Also, the Mexican government, could, at any time, take it away from us.  Also, if they didn’t take it away at the end of 99 years we would have to forfeit the property back over to the Mexican government.  You have to note that these time-sharing deals, like real property, could be willed from generation to generation.  Now, these Sharks swim all over the streets of Mazatlan.  They hawk this “party”, this “show” this “breakfast” happy hour etc.  It’s all to get you into their hotel for a hard sales pitch. 

 "The Wife" and I were relaxing at our favorite watering hole, the Jungle Juice, when we started chatting with a local gal.  She was actually one of the sharks but was relaxing from the hot sun at the time and wasn’t pushing her deal on us.  After speaking with her for a bit, we thought we’d help her out.  These street sharks, get money if they bring someone into the “show” even if the people they bring don’t buy anything.  So we thought we’d go with her the next morning, eat the free breakfast, listen to their song and dance (watch a video of RCI) and leave.  The hotel we were going to was called Pueblo Bonita.

 We agreed to meet the gal first thing in the morning and she would drive us to the hotel.  So we arrived early the next day and waited.  However, while we were waiting someone drove up to us and asked us whom we were waiting for.  Not knowing any better we told him.  Ahh, he says, she called in sick and he was worried that he couldn’t find us.  So he beckoned us into his pulmonia and off we went.  He claimed that Pueblo Bonita wasn’t having the breakfast that day and we were going to a new hotel that was currently being constructed.

 The place looked like crap, the breakfast was beyond crap and the lady that was trying to sell us the crap was full of crap.  She of course went into this elaborate detail how we could own property and it would stay in our family forever, so on and so forth.  Well, the wife, being a lawyer, never at a lost for fanning the fires an argument (whether or not she was right on wrong) started lashing out at the elaborations of lies.  The lady was getting excited because she thought we were interested, thus The Wife’s enthusiasm.  No maim, she just likes an argument.  So after I had enough, I plainly said, Maim, she just likes a good fight, we don’t actually want to buy anything (especially at the prices they were trying to get us to agree on 50,000 for a life time one week time sharing deal! MY GOD). 

 Well, we were promised free gifts, even if we didn’t buy, so we demanded the free gifts.  The lady said, that they were at their other hotel, Pueblo Bonita and we had to go back there and get them.  I was pretty upset by that but what else could we do.  So we ambulated over to Pueblo Bonita as quickly as we good in the hot sun.  Pueblo Bonita was really nice, they had exotic birds everywhere and the customer service was great.  However, we still didn’t and wouldn’t buy anything, we just wanted to make sure the original gal got the credit she deserved (and our free gifts).  However, they wouldn’t give us the gifts. We were very angry and started another argument.  Come to find out, we were kidnapped.  The guy in the pulmonia was another shark and we fell victim to his game.  However, we argued and they finally gave the gal credit for bringing us in and a free Mexican blanket that probably cost about 3 bucks, I think the vendors were charging 20 for them but would go down to 5.

 Now let’s jump ahead to April 3^rd, 2006, 16 years later, back to Mazatlan with the new wife (a much needed and better upgrade if I do say so myself).

Actually the story started earlier during the weekend.  I was planning our excursions and making note in my calendar of what we were doing and when in order to maximize my new wife’s indoctrination to Mazatlan (she’s not the world traveler I am).  During the hot afternoon sun we meandered into a local watering hole for a liquid libation.  We met a nice guy from America who was called Frenchy and we started up a conversation. It appears that Frenchy was a shark, however, he was offering us some cool freebies for going to the timesharing deal.  We were to get a free day of deep-sea fishing and a bottle of tequila (and something else I think).  Anyway, we decided to go Monday Morning and he was going to pick us up (since we were staying in Old Mazatlan, I was looking at this as at least a free ride into town and free fishing, what a great deal!).  So after we finished our drinks we went across the street and ran into Al.  Al is another shark, actually a pretty funny guy.  He was going to give us two free Mexican blankets, two bottles of Kahlua and a free day excursion to stone island and pick us up.  So we decided to have Al pick us up first and we’d listen to the hotel’s pitch and eat breakfast and get our free gifts.  Next we’d go across the street and Frenchy and go to, guess where, Pueblo Bonito! Actually, they called it Emerald Bay at the Marina, but it was really Pueblo Bonito’s Emerald Bay at the Marina (so it wasn’t exactly the same one from 1990). So after leaving Al, I went back across the street and told Frenchy that we’d meet him there rather then at our hotel (since we were getting a ride from Al, which we, naturally, didn’t tell him).

 Monday morning, Al arrives and we taxi into the hotel in the Golden Zone.  We eat our breakfast, the service was bad, the food was bad, and I’m not sure if my wife ever got the milk she ordered.  The Shark knew we weren’t interested in buying so he ate his food and we got our gifts (really nice Mexican Blankets this time) and we meandered over to the next trip.

 For some reason, Frenchy wanted to meet us a few yards away from the bar because he didn’t like the morning shark, must have been a hammerhead or something.  So we jumped in an air-conditioned car and drove to Emerald Bay. It was really beautiful and a city in and of itself.  However, the Sharkette that was showing us around was only a little more motivated then the guy from Warner Robins GA who won Grilldog’s worse service award.  Dropping us back off at the main location we were presented to a Shark that was much higher on the predator scale, most likely a Great White!

 With out going into much detail, we actually ended up with what we though was a great deal.  Now Grilldog owns Timesharing, however, it’s not a typical time sharing so you’ll have to email me if you want the details.  On the great side, I don’t have to go through RCI to trade weeks and I can get cheap rates at great suites all over the world.  So the next time the US military sends Good Ole Grilldog’s Mild mannered alias “George” on an overseas assignment, you can bet he won’t be coming back with fleas.

 We did have a bit of excitement upon leaving Mazatlan.  While we were going through the security check point, Grilldog noticed a bag that had been sitting out of place for quite some time.  So Grilldog pointed out to security the bag, a small ruckus transpired, until someone finally stated that they knew the bag belonged to someone that went to the restroom… whew! Ever Vigilent!